There are moments of aloneness that are impossible to recover from. Once you know that isolation, you can never fully escape. Loss makes the aloneness even more unbearable because loss longs for what could have been – the embrace never felt, the words never shared. There are the words we do speak we wish we never did. Loss has no end when it’s fueled by remorse.
Remorse. It is the worst of all.
When you lose someone you love, this is all you can see:
What it was.
What could have been.
In my life, I have been buried by this truth, at times immobilized by it. To carry so much unlived life and so many unspoken words has made this journey painful. The only relief I’ve known comes from writing. With words, I forge a pathway through the suffering. My stories are the light that leads me out of the darkness.
Through storytelling, I begin to understand and manage the consequences of being human. I could say storytelling saved my life, but it’s more accurate to say it gave me a way to access my life. A way to make being in the world more bearable.
When I write, I find entrance into the what could have been. I can say the words never spoken. I can stand in the what was and, feel the sorrow and find the joy, as well.
I call this process Creative Experiencing, a term I coined to describe what takes place in the creative realm. Through Creative Experiencing, you can transcend linear time and gain access to people and places you’ve left behind or those you’ve never known but always wished you had. When you turn remorse into a story, it no longer belongs only to you or is yours alone to carry; it belongs to the world.
If you have ever known remorse or have felt remorse in your life too, I invite you to a challenge.
I invite you to write about remorse today. Write a couple of lines in whichever medium you are comfortable with. When you have completed the challenge please post on your medium or socials and tag me.
Warm regards,
Alexandra Gratsas
Creative Experiencing
